Peace Out

So this morning I was sitting at my computer at work and I thought "HEY! Remember how I'm on the computer for 70% of the day?" Every morning I wake up next to my laptop(literally it's usually in my bed), carry it to school in my bag, and then plop down in front of my work computer for several hours. Then I go to class and bust out the laptop. Carry him home in my bag. We are separated while I go to the bathroom. Then he comes back out while I'm eating dinner and we barely leave each other for the rest of the night. And this really isn't because I'm some internet junkie, I do follow some blogs and chat with friends, and rarely write on here, but ALL OF MY HOMEWORK is on this thing. So today I thought, good riddance. Our relationship is suffocating me. I need a break, some independence. When humans ask me to do something I want to be available. I'm not ready for an exclusive relationship. So tonight I am declaring my independence. See you next week!

I hate seagulls

Mom used to get mad at me because I use the word "hate" all the time. After the millionth time of explaining to her that I didn't actually "hate" said thing, she finally gave up on me. It's not my fault that I exaggerate, Brittany has been talking about wanting to "kill" herself my whole life. I digress. The point is that I finally found something I hate. I hate people that make me dislike them. Every time I go into the situation with a fresh outlook they disappoint me and force me to dislike them. I hate people that pretend that they are "teasing" when they are really jerks and I hate that me disliking them bothers me more than it does them. But mostly I hate that this is my problem and that I'm supposed to be charitable.

Help! I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory!

Yesterday we had a work party and we had fortune cookies from Panda Express. I grabbed two. One for me and one for my friend Stacie. Hers read something about the exciting travel in her future. Mine said "A fascinating project is in your future". Seriously fortune cookie!? That is the LAST thing I want.

BODY

This week was rough. Last night I analyzed my dead lifeless body: red, stinging eyes, headache, weak shakiness and general tiredness. Then I realized. This is Project Body. Throughout my life I have encountered several kinds of "body". Each is a result of extreme conditions and causes several physical and mental changes.

1. Office body: discovered during my first summer working at my dad's office. Symptoms: pastey white skin, excessive paper cuts, and a physical tiredness from doing NOTHING all day.

2. Peaks body: discovered that summer that I went to Seven Peaks several times a week. Symptoms: Calloused back, sunburned skin, and a zen-like calm.

3. Project body: discovered my sophomore year of college. Symptoms: all of those previously mentioned as well as an urge to listen to Queen and a difficulty communicating with others (including via blog).

4. Moving body: discovered the day I moved out of my apartment Junior year and had to attend Liz's "after graduation" picture session. Symptoms: Sweaty, dirty, sticky, disgusting.

5. Patch body: discovered the first time I worked a couple of 12 hour days at the Flower Patch for Valentine's Day. Symptoms: tiredness, delirium, and hands that take several weeks to heal from thorns, etc.

6. Warehouse body: discovered my summer in the fabric warehouse. Symptoms: dry pastey skin, extensive paper cuts, fibers of fabric EVERYWHERE, and an extensive knowledge of the top 40 songs of the summer.

In merely 5 days I will be focusing on achieving Vacation body. Symptoms: 3,000 calorie/day diet, excessive card playing, and NO RESPONSIBILITY.

SUCCESS!

I was afraid to say anything, but now it's official.

At the beginning of the semester I was doing everything in my power to avoid buying any books. Well I found my history book at the library and figured I would just check it out until I saved up some money. Usually, someone else will figure out that the library has it so there is no way to keep it all semester. Well, about a million renewals later I have successfully avoided buying this book, and I have it until January fourth. BAM! Saving 50 bucks never felt so good.

Dragon (said like LemOn)

So I promise that I was doing homework, but one thing led to another and I found myself reading about my Chinese Zodiac, seriously I was doing homework. Anyway, this thing kind of scared me because it was dead on. I emphasized some important things, but really I had to hold back because most of it is ME! Read if you please:

Occupying the 5th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Dragon is the mightiest of the signs. Dragons symbolize such character traits as dominance and ambition (quiet). Dragons prefer to live by their own rules and if left on their own, are usually successful. They’re driven, unafraid of challenges, and willing to take risks. They’re passionate in all they do and they do things in grand fashion. Unfortunately, this passion and enthusiasm can leave Dragons feeling exhausted and interestingly, unfulfilled(sometimes).

While Dragons frequently help others, rarely will they ask for help (Rachel knows). Others are attracted to Dragons, especially their colorful personalities, but deep down, Dragons prefer to be alone. Perhaps that is because they’re most successful when working alone. Their preference to be alone can come across as arrogance or conceitedness, but these qualities aren’t applicable(also not applicable is depression). Dragons have tempers that can flare fast!

Health

Considering their hard-working nature, Dragons are healthy overall. They do get stressed and suffer from periodic tension/headaches, likely because they take so many risks. Dragons could benefit from incorporating mild activity into their lives. Yoga or walking would be good as these activities can work both their minds and their bodies.

Career

Dragons prefer leading to being led. Jobs that allow them to express their creativity are good choices. Some good careers include: inventor, manager, computer analyst, lawyer, engineer, architect, broker, and sales person.

Relationships

Dragons will give into love, but won’t give up their independence. Because they have quick, sometimes vengeful tempers, their partners need to be tough-skinned. Dragons enjoy others who are intriguing, and when they find the right partners, they’ll usually commit to that person for life.

Earth Dragons – Years 1928 and 1988

More rooted in the ground, Earth Dragons make better decisions because they act more rationally. Earth Dragons are level-headed and able to control their behaviors. They’re more supportive of others, but they prefer being admired by others.

STOP THE MADNESS

I remember when I was little and I would tell my mom "I'm bored!" and she would totally flip out and by flip out I mean be completely frustrated with the fact that I couldn't seem to find anything to occupy my time. Tonight it hit me:

#1a. She was so annoyed because she had SO much to do and I couldn't even enjoy my carefree existence.

#2b. I am becoming my mother.

I mean the clues were all there in front of me. Missy was the first to go. I can't remember the last time I talked to her when she wasn't running, I mean running, to something. Then there was Brittany. I mean the OCD has always made her a little crazy. I thought it would be fine after PA school. And then I thought it would be fine when she cut down on work. But it has only gotten worse.

Everything just came together minutes ago, as I finished up bridal shower invitations and realized I hadn't finished the gift I've been trying to finish making for at least a week, not to mention that research paper I haven't started. The worst part is that all day I was a multitasking productive machine. My list of have to dos and want to dos exceeds my time, and this will always be the case.

Thanks mom.

YAY!

I was so excited to see this video about the groundbreaking for the LDS temple in Rome, Italy. It will always hold a special place in my heart because I was there when they announced it and saw how excited the Italians were. I cried while watching this, I know, ridiculous.

My greatest joy is being funny

So, at the beginning of the year several of us decided to do the "Give a Day, Get a Day" thing that Disney was offering. I helped build a house for 4 hours, I got a "free"-there's no such thing as a free lunch-ticket to Disneyland. It had been three years since I had been!(not including that trip to Disneyworld, they are completely different) Obviously I had to take advantage of this. We put the trip off until August, when Marci returned from the Dominican Republic. She conveniently lied about never being to Disneyland so we would be more inclined to wait for her. Rachel on the other hand had really NEVER been! THE HORROR!

We decided to first drive down to San Diego since Liz's family was there that weekend. And again, some people have spent little to no time there, who are these people? The first night we went downtown and walked around Seaport Village. I have spent countless hours in these ridiculously specific shops. We spent the most time in the hat store of course. I love entertaining people with hats.

The next day we walk around Balboa Park. The highlight being when I asked an Asian man to take our picture. He turned out to be a "professional" and proceeded to take individual shots of each of us. Liz and I weren't good enough posers for him. "Action!" Then we headed over to Coronado. Talk about freezing water. San Diego really failed me this year as far as weather goes. I got to show the girls how to stick their fingers and toes into sea anemones, seriously what kind of childhoods did these people have?!

We met up with Liz's family the next day and went to Del Mar! Talk about nostalgia. Then we headed over to Mission Beach that night and I showed them the ways of giant pizza.

I only put this picture up in remembrance of that night. We were killing time on the boardwalk because we were "lost" and waiting for Liz's family. In a short 15 minutes: A man removed all of his clothing and ran into the ocean. I was asked to pose for an Asian yet again. And due to my sweet dance moves some awesome guys gave us their hip hop cd "gas n go".

We drove up to LA the next day to do all the touristy things. Liz bought this map in hopes of redeeming herself after getting us severely lost. Who knew that there were 2 Rodeo drives?

I have been dying to see the Disney Concert Hall and I was NOT disappointed. It's amazing!

Outside the Chinese Theater. This square was Jimmy Stewart's.

Finally the big day! Rachel got us to Disneyland in record time. We were there at 8 am sharp and full of excitement.

We upgraded to Park Hopper tickets basically for this one ride. Was it worth it? I know we would all say yes, easily. Somehow there was almost never a line so we went on the Tower of Terror 6 or 7 times. The great thing about Disneyland is the pictures that are meant to capture "fear" or something. It has been years now that this has simply been another way for me to entertain myself and others. I can be spotted here in the purple hoodie.

3 hours of sleep, 14 hours of diligent roller coaster riding, 1 firework show, 6 churros, 1 turkey leg, 1 pineapple delight, and 2 corndogs later we realized that although we looked like this...

Children would never be able to skip out of Disneyland at midnight.

Chicken Cereal

I'm starting a blogging revolution. I mean really, too many exciting things have been going on and I haven't even been making you all jealous of my life! Things won't be in chronological order as I'm waiting on pictures from people.

A few weeks ago some of us city girls decided to go visit Lindsay in Idaho! We're all a little bitter about Brandon snatching her away, but the bitterness level went down significantly after hanging out with them. We had such a good time!

Brandon took us on a tour of the dairy. So many cows!!

This is much more difficult than it looks. I should also add that we saw a cow BEING BORN! It was out of control and totally the highlight of my day.

Brandon's parents live on the Snake River so we got to go boating!! My favorite! This tube was in one word, hilarious. My body was so snug in my hole that no effort was required to stay on. However, Liz missed the memo about sitting up and decided to lay flat on top. Her body was all over the place, including Rachel's head. At this moment Liz is mostly off the tube and Rachel is of course laughing hysterically.

I can do it!

I didn't get any pictures of her house :( but I was slightly in love with the light fixture outside.

Grant Lyle! He was held quite a bit.

Right before we left we took some pictures in front of this awesome cornfield that is literally 10 feet from their house. This is the only picture where Sac's face looks remotely normal. (Let's pray that there is shade on her wedding day.) Just after this picture was taken we dared Liz to taste the corn. It's for animals, ask her how she liked it.

Other highlights of this trip include delicious food, OWLS!, chile con carne, outdoor naps and reading, sleeping in the cold basement, and several farming metaphors at church.

Note: I am so upset with blogger right now, it sucks. Now that I know how to write html this whole thing may need to change. I'm so frustrated!!

Do I need to take off my pants?

Yesterday was a weird and very long day. It started becoming long when I had to listen to Wicked and hear 5 more "how I met my husband" stories in patternmaking. Thank you HFL girls for living up to your stereotype. Not only do I want to punch babies when I hear Wicked but it is now official that I am one of a max of three single people in all of my classes. AAAAAAHHHHHHH! I need to write on here more, but for now I'm off to Park City to enjoy the fall mountain air!

What day is today?

I'm a little crazy right now. Sometimes this happens. For whatever reason I start acting like a little child. I think it means that I'm really happy. Who knew this would happen after the first day of school?! This morning I was NOT excited to go. However, this evening I have a new outlook on things. The beginning of fall has been rejuvenating to say the least:

1. After a week + of deep cleaning I am now living in the cleanest, largest, and most home-like place I have ever lived. I think I will stay here for the rest of my Provo days. Shocking I know. I've never lived anywhere for more than a year.

2. There are always a million people here. This is a fantastic thing because there is so much room that no one feels crowded and we can ENJOY each other.

3. The bed is STILL delivering for me.

4. Due to several factors including horrendous levels of stress last year, a granola "friend", and the start of a new year I've decided to be healthier. I need to get back those years I shaved off of my life last year. I'm off to a good start with healthy food, working out, and a lighter class load. I'm still working on the sleeping...there's just so many fun things to do!

5. Linx is getting married!!

6. I got to dance tonight. 5 songs. Packed room. Good company.

7. Several dinner groups are in the works. Let us recall how I made lifelong solid friendships with Cody and Cory via dinner group...good things will come.

8. I saw three of my favorite people on campus today...what are the odds?

9. I read a wonderful book this weekend and have several more waiting on my bookcase!

10. Liz answered my video chat from the next room.

MY DAY

Insert: Those noises that Rachel makes that form a complete sentence

Today was such a good day. I took a three hour nap and was reunited with several of my most beloved friends. What could be better?

After hearing from a couple of people that my hotmail account has been offering them exciting ways to earn money from home, I decided to delete it. I'm a little upset because that's what I sent all my junk mail to, but Brittany is just a little too gullible. Hotmail has everything on lockdown and makes it pretty difficult to figure out how to cancel your account, or maybe I'm just slow. Anyway, in the process I discovered a plethora of saved emails, namely 2 years worth of emails from you know who in Houston. I proceeded to give them one last glance, skipping all of the investigator talk and getting to the good stuff. I once again traveled through the emotional roller coaster that was that time period and ended right back where I started, content with the end result. Mostly it was really funny to read.

While reading some of the emails that I had written I came across a gem, which is the reason that I am writing about this at all. I was ranting about how for whatever reason they thought it was a good idea to have me sub for several weeks in the nursery at church. Hello, I don't like other people's kids! It was the end of the summer after my freshman year at BYU. I had lived at home and was packing up to move back up to Provo. Gabe was hanging out in my room and I was telling him how I was going to miss him. According to my letter he responded: "Yeah, me and you like each other, don't we."

Thank you Gabe for helping me realize that some day I will love being a mom. I only hope my kids are as funny as him, and like me as much as he does. Still, I hope I never have to set foot in nursery again.

P.S. These past few nights, due to my current need for Nyquil and my king bed, I have had the best nights of sleep in years!

There are just so many things I didn't know...

It finally happened! I have moved into my new house, the "Treehouse". Highlights of this place include large amounts of space, my own king bed, a plethora of parking, and several room mates that I love. There were an awkward few days this week where Rachel, Liz, Marci and myself had all of our outrageous amounts of stuff, and ourselves, hiding out in two rooms. However, now we are legitamately(I just had the hardest time figuring out how to spell that since I've been abbreviating it for years) allowed to live here now, so the unpacking has begun.

The biggest problem at this point is that the previous people had been living here for several years and they weren't the cleanest girls. So far I have had the pleasure of removing dried blood from the shower and a thick layer of dust mixed with grease from the top of the cupboards. That was particularly disgusting so I've decided to take a break from the kitchen. Don't worry, they left enough kitchen supplies and baking items to last a lifetime. Anyone looking for a George Foreman grill? We have a vast selection to choose from.

Due to the disgusting state of this place I've gone as far as washing all of the walls as well. I remember Mom paying me to do that in the summer and I always thought it was the dumbest thing ever. I now understand. I'd like to thank Mom and Brittany for teaching me how to clean/be OCD. While I may be messy, I AM NOT dirty. It will probably be another few days before this place is fully liveable but I can't wait! I will refrain from posting any before pictures so as not to horrify anyone.

Marci and I are sharing a room, and while we are good friends, it turns out there are a lot of things she doesn't know about me. On our trip to Cali last week she began to express surprise at certain things I would do, as if she didn't know I was weird. I lovingly responded each time "Get used to it". Hopefully she will!

P.S. Brittany, you would DIE

P.S.S. I met our fifth room mate last night, and WE KNOW EACH OTHER. But we can't figure out how. Such a weird situation. I'm just waiting to have a Kronk experience in the middle of the night when I realize how we know each other.

Can I ask you something?

I've been inspired to write. #1a Because Sierra told me to #2b Because I need a design break and #3c Because I had an awesomely weird experience.

So as many of you know I'm applying for the BFA program. I'm sick of explaining what that is...look it up. Anyway, after a short break from school I decided to get cracking again to make my portfolio awesome. Due to a lack of motivation and constant disruptions, I decided to venture into the library one night to get some serious work done. I set up camp in Maps, as usual. Things are weird during the summer and there were only two other people down there, including one man, who I had the feeling was looking at me quite a bit. As 11 o'clock rolled around I decided it was about time to head out. By now I had the weird feeling, seeing as how it was only me and staring kid down there, and I had to walk to my car.

The second I took the headphones out of my ears this kid says "What are you working on." Great. I tell him. Like most people he doesn't understand, but to add to the confusion, he is foreign. He asks to see it, but I've just closed everything. He MAKES me show him. I mention that I really need to go. He proceeds to talk to me for 25 minutes. Here are a few of my favorite lines:

"You work here? How come I've never seen you? Have you seen me? I'm always here."

"So, can I speak Spanish to you?"

"Guess, where I'm from. It's not that hard, you know I speak Spanish."

and by far my favorite

"Emily, can I ask you something?"

I started freaking out. What is this kid going to ask me!!!?? Are you ready?

"Do you want to be friends on facebook?"

I obliged, although becoming friends on fb was a fiasco itself. We parted with a full on hug.

Thank you Oscar Martinez.

Old Men say the Darndest things...

Okay people. I know it has been a long time! I have a lot of summer shenanigans to blog about, but that will have to wait until next week when I have a life again. I say that all the time, and then the next thing comes around and kills me. But I will seriously have 2 weeks of just work and play. But for now I just had to write about this.

Today I was at Cougar Creations printing off a letter on some nice paper. I'm paying the guy at the register and this old man next to me keeps looking at me. As I turn to walk away he says:

"You know, you may be a red head when you grow up."

I have a couple of theories about what exactly that meant, but I'm still unsure. At that moment the best I could do was laugh and walk away. I can't wait to be old...you can say whatever you want. Anyone care to tell me what he was talking about?!

"You will find a bushel of money."

I'll have you know that my Google translator is automatically set to translate from Chinese to English. I think you know why. Here's what they have to say:

"Ado, I wish you liking"

"Necessity is the mother of invention"

"Such a good blog, see later how to do ah"

"you always know the right thing to say!"-I especially love this one

"Death is sad, but even more sad to live unhappy"

I continue to play around with the idea of making my blog private, but who doesn't want their own personal fortune cookie writers?

It's so shameful

It's been a long time since I've written and I'm sure you're all dying for a funny story. I happen to have one.

Recently Sac related to me her side of a series of fiascoes in our apartment. From her room she could easily hear the conversations in the bathroom that I shared with Linx. One day while sitting in her room she hears something along these lines:
Me: "Why is my toothbrush wet?".
Linx: "That's my toothbrush."
Me: "No it's not."
Linx: "Yes it is."
Me: "NO IT'S NOT!"
Linx: "Sorry!"

A few weeks later:
Me: "Linx, why do you always put my loofah on the ground?!"
Linx: "That's my loofah."
Me: "No, it's mine."
Linx: "I KNOW that that is my loofah."
Me: "NO IT'S NOT!"
Linx: "Sorry!"

Then about a month ago I go to brush my teeth and AGAIN find it moist and CLEARLY recently used. I text Linx "I hate you". I similar conversation as those above occurs. That night Liz gives me a new toothbrush and I move anything related to my teeth into Liz's bathroom.

Things were going smoothly until last night. I'm brushing my teeth and as I spit my eye catches the toothbrush holder. What's this?! My toothbrush is in there. This can only mean one thing. I HAVE USED LIZ'S TOOTHBRUSH! She's in the loft. I crawl up the stairs. Defeated. Lift the toothbrush in surrender and tell her the news. The irony is too much to handle.

However, while Linx is still using my toothbrush, I boiled Liz's and returned it to it's home.

Mewsicle

Well. It's two days after my birthday and I'm sitting in the flaming hot loft surrounded by a combination of facial hair, cake, and sad balloons. It was a great party--thank you Liz, Rachel, Marci, Linx, Dede, and Cory and whoever else I forgot! Ridiculous and funny. Once I get my hands on some more pictures I'll post them, but this little gem captures the night pretty well. This was taken just moments after Cody sneak attacked me from behind and smashed a chocolate cupcake in my mouth. What would I do without him? The combination of sweat from dancing and the frosting really did a number on my hair that night.

Normally birthdays are no big deal, but for some reason 22 made me feel weird. Maybe it was just a general lack of sleep. Maybe it's because I should be a grown up now and I'm still a kid. OR Maybe it's because all I ate was 3 cinnamon rolls and in 'n out that day. Whatever it is, I feel weird.

Things I googled today:
1. Curds and whey. It is in fact just cottage cheese. I had NO idea.
2. The Jingle Cats. One of the original members of the band was named BINKY! Coincidence? I think not.

Them Chickens Jackin' My Style

I realized something the other day. Liz referred to something that she found out on Facebook, and I obviously had completely missed it. Why is this? I don't care about other people. On Facebook that is. I only pay attention to emails that are sent to me informing me of messages written to ME, pictures posted of ME, and comments made on MY wall. Exhibit A. Yesterday, while avoiding homework, I found myself looking at my own pictures for the eightieth time. And this got me to thinking. What are you doing? You know yourself and what you've done. I have come to the conclusion that I am in fact not that selfish, but I absolutely love looking back on my life and laughing every time I do. Well as I was doing so yesterday, I came across some pictures that reminded me of a post I've been meaning to do. There are certain scenarios, positions, etc. that seem to repeat themselves in my life. Here are a few examples:

Sac and I have spent our college experience living together, except when we were both in different countries. Our freshman year we discovered that we were beginning to morph into each other. The first time this happened we realized, in class, that although we got ready separately and walked to campus separately, we were in fact wearing the same thing.


In later years it became apparent that even the clothes under our clothes were the same...This year I walked into SAC's room and she was absolutely SHOCKED. I had no idea why...
(Come back to me Sac!)
This next instance just kills me. First, my nieces chase a goose at a park over Thanksgiving weekend.
Second, Linx chases a bird in a park in Brisbane, Australia. (she's 16 years older than Corinne and 19 years older than Milly)
This may be my favorite. First, Liz finally finding a place to pay it forward after some woman in Australia gave her back one more dollar than she was supposed to.
Cory. After winning a contest at the Halloween dance and getting two free movie tickets. Note: the girl he won them for didn't want anything to do with a banana.
Last but not least. Linx, triumphant after catching a shrimp in her mouth.

AZN

I've had weird feelings about Asians since high school. Well maybe before that, but this is the earliest I can remember. I went to a good school and they flocked to it. Or maybe it became a good school because they flocked to it. Chicken or egg? Not sure. Anyways, they are smart. Fact. And I had to try to keep up with them for many years. It was a competitive relationship. We talked and laughed with each other, but underneath it all we wished the other would just back off so we could keep our spot in the top 5%. Frenemies.

I thought it was over once I left high school and began attending the Whitest University in the U.S. But alas, they have followed me. Thank you Asians for reading and commenting on my blog. I have no idea who you are, and most of the time I don't know what you're saying, but it's about time you were acknowledged. Someday I'd like to know who you all are and why/how you find my blog interesting. Am I in fact famous in China!? Don't tell me yet. Let's keep the secret alive because really, I'm probably being used in some SEO scheme.

If it's true, I've known it for a long time. If not, I never knew it.

I was about to write another blog about some "research" I did, like unto the Top Ramen, but then realized that I'm really bad about posting about real activities. So, to keep you all from thinking that I do nothing, let's do a little recap on our Vegas trip this semester. We decided we deserved a little getaway for 3 reasons: 1. We had all almost died at the Flower Patch for Valenine's Day. 2. I had just finished that outrageous sculpture class of mine. 3. It was Linx's Birthday week!!! I'm going to tell this story with mostly pictures, more exciting that way.Rachel's fantastic friends let us stay at their house in St. George on the way there and back. This is like the only picture I have of their house, but hello, check out that screen. They spoiled us so much, and we loved it.The first night we were there we decided to go out for sushi, Linx's request. Sushi has long been at the top of my list for foods I wish I liked. Well, BAM, that night I fell in love. It was SO GOOD!I started reading while I was waiting for everyone to get ready, and Liz found me in this position. It just happened.I was frequently making everyone walk through all of the hotels. That night we explored the Bellagio and came across this little Asian garden, Chinese New Year perhaps? We also happened upon Lindsay's husband Brandon in this garden....what are the odds?I love me some blown glass.I can never get enough of these fountains. I believe this was the first time we watched the show.
Linx and I were big gamblers. We both lost a dollar in these penny slots. They were highly advanced and I had no idea what I was doing. I also got totally jipped and got a slot where you couldn't even pull the handle. This picture isn't even good, but the crazy man that took it kept saying. "Oh anytime. Anytime you want a picture I'll take it." As if we would just see him around again.The next day involved A LOT of walking and more shopping, eating, and exploring. Oh and the crazy rides on top of the Stratosphere. I don't have the pictures of that, but watching Liz and Rachel cry was worth every minute!!

Finding the Precious Slut 4 was an unexpected tender mercy.I never felt uncomfortable on the strip, but hanging out on Fremont Street was almost too much for me. That's where all of the hicks hang out. Good thing it had ridiculous deep-fried items to redeem itself.

Well to wrap it up. I almost killed everyone on our drive back to St. George because it was raining and I don't know how to drive cars that don't have automatic lights. But everything worked out fine. We had a wonderful and absolutely hilarious time. And yes, I love Vegas, to the dismay of my mother.

We're both sitting here with the cursor in the title...

Liz just asked me what to title her blog, not knowing that I was also pondering the same question. Perfect that she inspired the title, because she in fact inspired this post.

Ever since I have known Liz she has put in minimum effort for maximum results in school. Oftentimes I have wondered if my brain is in fact as awesome as hers, but I've always been too scared to test it out. For my entire schooling career I've worked pretty hard in every class. Then comes last semester, and I realize that I can't get everything done, so I've got to slack off in at least one class. I had to take Family Finance, my last required class to finish my HFL degree. I was very bitter about this, having already taken a personal finance class. To add to my bitterness, I absolutely disliked the teacher. The first day of class produced nonstop laughs from over 100 of my classmates while Cory and I sat in awe, trying to figure out why they thought it was funny. Cory dropped the class, realizing that he already knew how to stay out of debt(by selling his electronics) and I was left to suffer alone. I was pretty stable for the first several weeks and then I got 100% on the first test. That's when it hit me. I'm going to be Liz in Family Finance. My attendance dropped to about 30%. I barely studied for the second test and got an 80%. Pulled out a 96% on the final. And a A in the class. Family Finance Liz-style was relaxed, easy, and a little dangerous. I loved every minute of it.

Thank you Liz for being an inspiration in my life. She is now helping me get back to high school Emily, by training me to sleep through her 6 daily snoozes. You're the best!

The Break Down

My life a few days ago:

My life this evening:

I MADE IT!
I don't want to really call myself a procrastinator because I feel like I worked my butt off all semester. Okay, maybe not that week that I saw 5 movies at the dollar theater. And yet, somehow I was left with a whole lot to do this past week. But as usual I pulled it off, with flying colors, if I do say so myself.

I have this great fear that life continues to get more busy and stressful the older you get, but somehow you can just handle more. Exhibit A: My parents. My Dad often hints that this is the truth, but he's still not giving me the full story so that I won't put off finishing school any longer than I already have!

I definitely know that I can handle a lot more stress now than say, high school, or even a couple of years ago. I was just waiting for the break down this week. The point where I am "100% positive" that I can't finish everything-an unacceptable realization for a Baird child. The tears never came, but there was one point where I completely lost it. Allow me to set the scene:

Monday night at 9:00 pm. I have been making books for the majority of the past three days. I'm finishing up my final book while watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I arrive at the LAST STEP! and reach in my backpack for my salmon colored waxed linen thread that I had so responsibly purchased days before so as to avoid yet another fiasco buying materials at the more-often-than-not closed BYU stock room. But alas, where is my thread? This one piece of thread is what holds my book together. I begin calmly searching through my bag and then within minutes panic has set in. I miss the part in the movie where they finally stop being dumb and fall in love over a card game(what a perfect scenario). I'm tearing apart the house. It is nowhere to be found. Did I mention my book is due the next day, and I have another final in the morning, and again, who even knows when that dang stock room will be open. I begin praying, for thread. God must be laughing at me but immediately I know I have to go to the bookbinding studio. It has been my second home lately, so why not tear it apart as well?

It's now 9:45. I pull up to the scary warehouse to find a dozen cars in the parking lot. See, some people procrastinate more than I do. I walk in to find half my class hard a work. Normally, I would just snoop around and try not to draw attention to myself. But this was it, the break down. I walk into the room, mumble hello to some kid and then something takes over my body, I stop in the middle of the room, and quite loudly announce that I have something to say to everyone. They all pause and turn to look at me. I was like a movie. "Has anyone seen salmon waxed linen thread?" Without a word, about three people point to the corner of the room, where my beloved thread is on a table.

People said things to me but I was so happy that I don't remember what I said back. Thread has never looked so good.

The other day my boss said to me: "You poor art students." I accept that sympathy. But I love it! This semester was so hard, but so rewarding. Next week I'm onto the next adventure....computers. Wish me luck!

100 Feet of Noodle in Every Package

Upon catching up on my friend's blogs this morning I realize how ridiculous my life/thought process may be to some of you. But alas, I find joy in the simple pleasures of single life and the fact that I can have advanced conversations about things that "don't matter". With that said...

Upon returning from the gym last night, Linx and I sat down to a smorgasbord of food(cue Templeton). I'd venture to say that there were probably 5 small meals consumed between the two of us, one of hers being Top Ramen. note: She has recently converted from Chicken to Chili flavor, which is upsetting but also a little refreshing. This is when something that has been bothering me for quite a while was brought to the table. Why do I call it "Top Ramen"? The package just says Ramen and "Top" isn't a thing. I think I first realized that people were calling it something else when I moved up here, so is it an Arizona thing? My family? My friends? Then went out the mass text.

The results. 4 people called it just "Ramen". 4 "Ramen Noodles". and 9 "Top Ramen". At first the only people who called it "Ramen Noodles" were from the East so I really thought I was onto something, but with more surveying that night, a couple of westerners ruined that theory. But those two are weird, so I will keep investigating that. The one thing that I am sure about is that all the members of the Tic-Tac-Toe club were adamant Top Rameners (except for Linx whose college life has confused her). This isn't surprising considering the amount of time we spent together.

Anyway, Linx jumped on the computer to figure out what was going. Here's what we've found. A. I'm not the only one with this question bc there is a whole chat on yahoo about the issue. B. The brand Nissin calls their ramen Top Ramen, hence the "Top". And don't worry, my source on yahoo answers is legit. "Supermum" says: "I've known and eaten this product since it first came out on the market." Turns out that everyone is also convinced that Nissin's Top Ramen is just a little bit tastier and has thicker noodles. However, it is more expensive so you can be sure that I've been eating Maruchan for years now.

As for why I call all ramen "Top Ramen" and never realized that that wasn't really what it was called? Unsolved Mystery(like the show I watched religiously while I ate Top Ramen). Nissin didn't start calling it "Top Ramen" until 2000, well after I had memorized the recipe and mastered the understanding of the perfect noodle texture. Both Nissin and the cheaper Maruchan are produced in California, thus shooting down my East vs. West theory. Maybe it's just because I'm from Scottsdale so we splurged the extra 10 cents and went for Top Ramen.

If you think this whole thing is ridiculous then let me tell you that a poll showed that the Chinese believe that Ramen is their MOST important invention. That's above the cd, and some other awesome things that I can't remember. That would have sounded more legit if I could have found the source again.

Let the research continue. In the meantime I'm going to make this Ramen Pizza recipe that I stumbled upon.

Bacon-wrapped Orange Chicken

I like to exaggerate a lot, but when I say that last night was one of the worst eating experiences of my life I am being honest. The idea of a wing eating contest seemed good. However, in my head I had imagined delicious wings from Uncle Sam's. Straight chicken, natural amounts of skin, and delicately sauced. This is why I predicted that I would make it to the mid-20s. It was at about wing #2 that I said to myself: "Hey! These wings are disgusting and I wouldn't eat them if you paid me." But since my pride was on the line, I kept my mouth stuffed with chicken, excess skin and cartilage, and sauce, so much sauce. I didn't express my true feelings until Cody realized that in fact, these wings tasted like bacon. What is my favorite breakfast meat? Sausage. Everybody knows that.

I was happy that Linx entered as an illegal/"rogue" competitor. Her body has the ability to sustain a lot more grease and cartilage than my own. She was Cody's true rival in this game. However, if she wouldn't have been there, I could have respectfully withdrawn much sooner and saved myself a lot of pain.

Last night was bad. I was like a snake that had just eaten a large animal and you could see it just sitting there waiting to be digested. No position was comfortable. Linx and I tossed and turned in between drinking as much water as possible. The salt intake was horrendous. It's 10:24 am. I have no intention of eating any food today, I feel no hunger. I am SO THIRSTY and my mouth feels like when you eat too much pineapple-I know this feeling all too well.

Worth it? Yes. I got to wear a bib. So many outrageous things were said and done. And so many good friends were there. I love them. And most importantly, I have a legitimate reason to never eat at Winger's again.

Thanks Avril, for keeping it real

Let me paint a picture for you. I get out of class early and head over to the library to stake out a spot at a computer before the devotional starts. The library gets pretty packed at 11 on Tuesdays when those of us that are just a little less righteous, and a little more behind on homework, use this hour as study hall instead of a time to be spiritually uplifted at the weekly devo. There are plenty of computers open in the beloved Map Section when I arrive. Only seconds after I log onto my computer a guy comes over and wiggles the mouse on the computer next to me. Nothing. He moves over to the next computer successfully. Then comes another guy. Wiggles mouse, presses buttons. Nothing. He then asks me if anyone has used it since I've been here. Nope. Confirmed. The computer next to me doesn't work. Great. Now every time somebody so much as glances at that computer it is MY responsibility to break the news to them. I have run into this problem before and ignoring the situation is always awkward. You sit there, waiting to see how long they will mess around before realizing it doesn't work, and they always look at you like, "Hey, thanks for not telling me this one doesn't work, you clearly knew." So it is my duty, as an honorable BYU student to save them the hassle. It's going to be a busy devotional hour.

He was wearing a hat!

It's funny how the longer you live, the more you learn about yourself. I feel like I'm just starting to scratch the surface of who I am. The most recent discovery I've had is that I seem to have a problem internalizing faces. Allow me to explain. Once I meet someone, I will for sure recognize them when I see them. I'm great with names and I remember people that often don't know I exist. However, if asked to think of what someone looks like in my head...nothing.

Still not sure what's going on? Allow me to continue. This problem has slowly surfaced this year with men. On several occasions I have answered the door when a guy has come to pick up Linx for a date. We all know the two reasons for this: #1a. If possible you should never open the door yourself for a date and #2b. Your friends need as much face time as possible in order to form an opinion. Linx is continuously frustrated with me when she returns and asks me "Do you think he's cute?" And honestly I have no response...I can't remember what he looks like! The other night I hung out with her and a guy in the loft for a good hour. The next day she asked me what I thought about his looks. She wasn't even surprised when I told her I wasn't sure what he looked like. It was dark okay!

Low lighting, hats, short amounts of time, lots of pressure to form an opinion. All of these things cause me to freak out and forget that I should be looking them in the face! But then I had a realization that was down right scary. I went on a date with a kid last weekend. I had previously spent a lot of time with him pre-date. We spent about 7 hours together on the date, just the two of us. For a good hour I was even sitting across from him looking at his face, deep in conversation. It was only dark for about half of the time. The other day, after suspecting I had a problem, I tried to imagine what he looked like in my head. I HAVE NO IDEA. Part of the problem is that he reminds me of someone, so I can only imagine what that guy looks like. I confessed this to Linx. She rolled her eyes. Apparently it shouldn't matter that he was wearing a hat.

A Body Bag Round 2

You guessed it, the drug house strikes again! Let me get you guys up to speed. You may recall last semester when we witnessed a dead person wheeled out on a stretcher. Since then much has happened.

A couple of weeks ago Linx and Andrew came running into the apartment with news of a naked woman outside. Of course we turned off the lights, opened the window and enjoyed the show. Two guys were walking down the street in suits, at midnight on a Friday night I might add, and one of them had given the naked woman his jacket. When I tuned in the police had been called and all that could be seen were her white legs. The boys left and let the police take care of business. We watched for probably ten minutes as Naked Woman pranced around dodging the police. They obviously didn't want to touch her, she is crazy after all, so they kept their distance and followed her time and time again as she skipped around the house next door to hers. She was trying to convince them that it was hers, but everyone involved knew exactly where she came from. Finally they coaxed her inside the drug house at which point the boys returned, and said suit jacket was returned. We laughed as they walked home, the kid carrying his jacket with two fingers and extended away from his body.

Fast forward to last night. Sac and I returned from a movie and noticed FIVE police cars across the street. PERFECT. We alerted Linx and positioned ourselves by the kitchen window. At first things were pretty boring, just talking on the front porch. Finally, the cops busted out some handcuffs and awkwardly arrested a man. They stood on the sidewalk for a long time patting him down before they popped him into the back of one of the cars. Then another cop opened the back of his car to let a woman out. They chatted for a while and she continued to thank him fifty times before she went back into the house. Our verdict is domestic dispute.

I'd also like to quickly mention that on two occasions we have seen unknown people laying in the street with people trying to help them...no movement.

Who knew that we were going to get so much entertainment from this house! I love it.

Hooker is just a job

This year has been unlike any other. When I took upon the new challenge of an art major I knew it would be different, but I didn't realize it would be so HARD. However, I have loved the new challenges it has presented and all of the crazy things I have learned. It is an entirely different world! I'm looking forward to a day when I can sleep as long as I want and do nothing for the rest of the day, but that certainly won't be happening until sometime after Wednesday. Wednesday marks the last day of my sculpture class and let me tell you I couldn't be more thrilled. I'm seriously lacking motivation in the 3 dimensional world and I'm just too much of a perfectionist to be working with materials that are so unforgiving. So I will be pleased to say "PEACE OUT" to 8 o'clock class in B66. I have more to say about that, but for now I have to go study for a written test (in art? what?), and bust out some decent sculptures.

Also, my parents have been so supportive of me and my crazy endeavors. I thought my dad would be appalled at my new choice of major, but he loves me. So, just for them I have created a new blog to show my stuff. They have literally seen nothing I've done this year. Now let's remember that these are pretty much all from Studio art classes so I'm not promising anything too fantastic. If you want to check it out here it is: http://welphereweare.blogspot.com/

Lady Luck

First things first. I have some sort of Asian following on my Picasa web album as well as this. If anyone can translate the comment on my last post, I'd really appreciate it.

Second, I feel like I've already told everyone this, but it's just so fantastic I need to write it down. I have a gym membership at 24 hour fitness. However, for the past few months I've noticed that they haven't been taking money out of my account every month. Of course every time I think about it I'm not in the position to do anything and I just kept forgetting about it-that's what happens when you have money that you shouldn't. Had it been the other way around I would have done something immediately.

So yesterday in class my friend Sarah, who also goes to 24 hour, was telling me how she lost her debit card and so when she got a new one the payments didn't transfer over. The other day they stopped her when she came in and told her that her payments were late. I smiled and nodded as she told me this story, but inside a wave of panic struck. Remember that time last semester that I was an IDIOT FOOL and left my debit card in the atm? Turns out that I too have a new card, but who knew that the automatic payments would stop working, same account right? On the way home I began imagining the hundreds of dollars in late fees that I must owe to 24 hour.

I tried to work it out online but when I typed in my account information a little box popped up telling me that my membership had been TERMINATED. I called. I spoke to some man and explained the situation. He proceeded to tell me that they hadn't received payment from me since OCTOBER and my membership had been terminated then. My reply to him: "I just went to the gym on Friday". And by the way, I didn't have my card on Friday so the girl even typed in my name to look up my account...He then transferred me to another man. I explained the situation again, and told this man I would fight him because it was their fault. He told me just to sign up for a new account. What did this entail? Paying the first and last month plus a service fee. Altogether this amounted to less than what I clearly owed them for the last 4 months, but they didn't want to hear it.

I am now reminded of the time I went to the YMCA for two years in high school for free before they realized that I in fact was not old enough to be a member of Silver Sneakers. Thank you gyms of the U.S. for wanting me to use you for free.

Wanted: Life sponsor

I know everyone feels really bad for me. I have a difficult and boring life. So...

Who has 10 grand they want to give me to go to Jerusalem? I'll take check or cash.

My apology in advance that you have to read this

Upon checking my email tonight I was alerted that I had a message on Facebook with the same subject line as the title of this blog. Intriguing, right? I don't think you'll be disappointed. Here is the message I received from a guy named Eric:

"Hey you probably have no idea who I am, but I came to your house with Thayne Holyoak for his going away dinner.

Thayne was supposed to help me hang out with you at some point, but our master plan failed miserably :), so he just gave me your name and told me to look you up on facebook instead (actually he wanted me to just show up at your house, but I didn't dare do that).

I know this is like the lowest form of socializing but if you do remember me and want to hang out / go out sometime let me know. If this surpasses your threshold for wierdness then you can just ignore this message, and I hope you have a great day slash life.

E "

I know my family especially will enjoy seeing this as they love to be involved in/make fun of my dating life. Welcome to 2010 and getting asked out on Facebook. Did I respond to him? Yes, happily. I gave him my number because a. I really do know who he is and talked to him for a while b. He tried other options first c. He acknowledged how ridiculous this whole thing was d. He is straightforward (THANK YOU, finally a man) And most importantly e. That last paragraph makes me laugh every time I read it.

I feel kind of bad putting this email up here, but seriously I think only my family and close friends read this. He's has my number...I'll keep you posted :)

My body let loose

Upon moving into my apartment this year it was often stated that somehow, sometime, someone would die because of our metal circular staircase. I never thought it would be me.

Last Sunday night I was running downstairs so as not to miss more than was necessary of Emma. However, about five steps from the bottom my right foot slipped and I tumbled down the rest of the way. It must have sounded horrible because Liz and Rachel quickly ran down to find my mangled body at the bottom. I was a mess of tears and laughter. My right foot was on fire from scraping down the metal stairs with all of my body weight.

I'm glad I could fulfill the prophecy.

Who am I?

So lately I've had this obsession with how people perceive me. Not like "oh I'm worried what people think about me" but I'm just interested in what I am to them. Most of the time I decide that people probably think I'm weird. Well this brings me to my next point. I think YOU are weird if:

1. You don't like chips
2. You don't like the beach
3. You don't wear underwear
4. You don't long to travel
5. You don't like peanut butter
6. You don't like scary movies
7. You don't like cheese

I'll probably think of more, but honestly I was very picky with this list. I could add a lot of other things that are weird to me, but I believe with all of my heart that these 7 things should be loved/worn by all. Think about it.

You think you're hot stuff cause you went to a dance

I have always loved the movie Teen Witch. In high school this love grew as Moyes and I would stumble upon it on the Hallmark, or some equally awesome channel. Easily the best part of the movie was the little brother. His scenes always keep you utterly confused/baffled, but always wanting more. Moyes quickly learned his parts and mastered his voice. We would often beg her to perform, and it just never got old. Last year I decided it was time to purchase Teen Witch. Too many people were not educated on it and it had been too long since I'd watched it on the big screen at the Moyes. Last night SAC was introduced to this gem. Afterward I tried to explain what the little brother is to me-his voice, appearance, and mannerisms are difficult to put into words. As a young child I read books with what can only be called a "critter" as the main character. Said "critter" looks exactly like the little brother in Teen Witch. After FINALLY discovering that someone else knew what I was talking about, thank you Liz, I began a google search. My jumble of words produced nothing to Google, so I sent my mom an email. Thank you Mom, for hooking me up. Mercer Mayer is the author of these "critter" books. One more piece of my life is complete, and one more ridiculous thought in my brain has been shared with the public.


The resemblance is uncanny.