Sunday, December 27, 2009

"So this is what it's like having a deaf sister"

I can't remember the exact roots of this phrase, but somewhere along the way, my friends began referring to my body as one "of steel". It has something to do with the fact that I rarely get sick, can get by with little sleep, and I'm sure it has something to do with the size of my calves. After the last two months I will have to relinquish the title "Body of Steel". Between a brutal academic semester, a new job, and my need to be social and see dollar movies, I gave my body less than little sleep and it wasn't pleased. The result being that I got sick 3 times in two months. This is probably more than my sicknesses in the past 3 years combined.

While watching a movie at Marci's this week(I tell you it's those movies that get me!), I started to lose my voice. Very strange I thought. It got progressively worse until I awoke on Christmas Eve Day and to my surprise it was gone completely. I mean really trying, I couldn't get out more than a whisper. Kylie, Alyssa, and Liz came over for breakfast. I learned from this gathering that without me talking, everyone is generally much quieter AND I'm not nearly as funny or sarcastic as a mute. Part of being sarcastic is jumping in with the perfect comment at the perfect time and when no one realizes you are talking, the moment is easily lost.

After breakfast I had to do some Christmas shopping. As one who hates customer service, I have become a master at avoiding talking to workers so this wasn't a problem. However, as I was walking up to the photo counter at Walmart I realized there was no way to avoid a conversation. Luckily a kind old man asked me what he could do, I grabbed my throat and whispered something about losing my voice. He got the point that I needed to pick up pictures and asked for my name. I couldn't get it out! He had no idea what I was trying to mouth to him. So I busted out my student i.d. and had him read it. At another store I got away with not giving them my phone number and email because the kid didn't want to bother with me writing things down. Overall I felt like a jerk at every store nodding my head and not responding to everyone's Merry Christmas! greetings.

Dinner provided a similarly quiet experience, although my voice was slowly returning. I had lots of stories and comments to add to the conversation but I had to recite them to myself instead of sharing them with the table. After my day of silence I have so many questions for mute people! How are they funny, how do they have friends, or a personality, how do they explain quickly to a store clerk that in fact they cannot speak?! How do they avoid being rude or boring? They can use sign language with people that know it, but how do they get them to look at them? I was so sick of clapping and getting in people's faces for them to realize I was speaking. Props to them. I would like to interview somebody, preferably in writing.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Price Family Tree

Although we are nearing Christmas, I felt a little something needed to be said about Thanksgiving this year. Not only was it "our turn" for Thanksgiving so all the sibs were here, but it was also the J.R. Price reunion which happens once every three years. I just have a few thoughts on the event.

First, I did end up staying at Orange Tree, which was a good call. Sadly, I think it may be the last time because Dayne and Myhoa realized that they were foolish for giving it up! However, if you ever stay there, keep in mind that this place was built on a skinny mile-long piece of land with the parking lot at one end. Needless to say that was fun. Particularly the one time Brittany forgot her keys so I had to literally run back to the room. I returned with a bloody foot. Also, the one time I walked to the house from the hotel I got honked at by a raper van. Awesome.

Second, Thanksgiving at Village Inn is surprisingly good. While my grandma may have been appalled, I think she would have been happy that all 74 of us were together, even if we weren't eating off of china.

Third, these extended family reunions are just awesome. I am telling you there is a full on itinerary including classes, a talent show, and a 3 hour long testimony meeting. When Linx heard us reading off the schedule one day she finally interrupted with a confused..."What is this?!" We even have a song "Price Family Tree". I need to get my hands on those lyrics for a future blog post, keep an eye open.

Fourth, you may ask if I had any interesting sleeping experiences this family vacation? For one full day I slept in a fit of dilirium in my hotel room, only to be awoken for the occasional throw up. On Thanksgiving day I took a nap on the ground behind some chairs because there were no couches or beds open, and no one could find me.

Fifth, the same day I was dying my Dad went to the emergency room so everyone forgot about me in my hotel. Okay his was more serious, but he's okay.

While that weekend was absolutely crazy it was actually a really good time. Rarely are we all together. And of course I recovered quickly enough to come back and dominant in some Carumba. The one thing I lament is that I did not have some poor boy to bring home this Thanksgiving. With the amount of chaos and ridiculous family gatherings, along with singing our family song, I think we could have scared just about anyone to death. It would have made a great movie.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Is this real life?!

So I'm working on this presentation where I discuss how the media uses images to help convince us of whatever they are saying. So I was brainstorming about visuals and then this thought popped into my head about those idealistic pictures of food. You know the ones. They just look beautiful and then you order the hamburger and it looks horrendous. Anyways, this is the reason I was googling fast food pictures and ran across this gem. Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate Krispy Kremes and this image has solidified that feeling forever.

Introducing the krispy kreme bacon-cheddar-cheeseburger. I'd rather not have a heart attack thank you.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Do you remember

Remember that time I spilled ink all over my computer? It's like I'm Whitney or something, except hers was cereal and OF COURSE mine is ink. As if art classes haven't already taken away my social life, loft cleanliness, and general sanity, they had to take away my computer as well. No use crying over spilt ink though. Luckily only my mouse was damaged and I went off and purchased a wireless one. This is all the complaining I will do because as previously stated to SAC last night...I don't even have the time to break down. Countdown until freedom from art=2 days
6 drawings, 1 project, and 17 loose ends to tie up before then. See you on the other side.

P.s. Chris Brown Today!!!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Rear Window

Okay this blog requires some background for most of you. My apartment is at the end of the complex and is therefore full of windows. Many of these windows look out onto 700 north. Only days after moving in, my room mates and I had discovered the house across the street. The first red flag is the tarps permanently covering all the windows. Then we noticed the outrageous amount of crap on their porch. The house was then labeled the halfway house or the drug house depending on the day.

In the past few months there has been a lot of action at this house. Generally, there are large amounts of people hanging out on the porch and vans pulling in and out of the driveway dropping people off. By the looks of this group and the hours they keep I'm pretty sure that none of them could carry a real job, they are not a family, I have no idea what their relationships are. Then, specifically, there was the afternoon that it all started to get really weird. Sac and I were both home in the afternoon working on homework in different rooms. Suddenly a cat began meowing IN OUR APARTMENT. Sac yelled my name and we began investigating. However, there was no cat to be found and we realized that it was in fact coming from the drug house. We went back to work. Minutes later I heard a woman hacking up a lung IN OUR APARTMENT. Again we searched and again we realized it was coming from the drug house. This was the day "the woman" came into being. Ever since then I heard her coughing at least once a week. I am positive that she smokes 3 packs a day and worked in a coal mine at some point in her life.

Now here is where it gets crazy. Two days ago Sac announces that she heard "the woman" yelling, followed by a thumping sound. Then, last night upon returning from the gym, the halfway house is surrounded: two police cars, an ambulance, and a firetruck. I popped some popcorn (not really) and we began watching the show. There were so many theories being thrown out there that we had NO IDEA what would happen: drug overdose, domestic dispute, dead cat, etc. After a few minutes somebody mentions that the paramedics didn't seem to be in any hurry. That's when it hit us. "The woman" DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Minutes later they take a stretcher out of the ambulance and roll it over to the door. We waited in anticipation while they went inside. Then the front door opened and they were carrying...."A body bag, a body bag!" (note: Sac actually chanted that). Okay it was really just a sheet wrapped around the body but it was a DEAD body.

"The woman" actually died! Okay we don't actually know who it was. It could have been any of the dozens of people who hang out there but I'd like to believe that the black lung finally got her. After weeks of joking about how something sketchy was going on there and how we should call the cops...BOOM somebody dies. This may sound horrible, but it was the highlight of my week.

The paramedics waved at us as they drove away.