Hearts are overrated

There's nothing that I love more than designing something for myself! I'm the best client. Therefore, making up a project for myself, I mean my dear friend SAC, turned out to be a really good idea. 

Sarah and Jeff have the most ridiculously awesome story and I just knew that it needed to displayed for future generations, as well as all those people that thought they were normal. 

Here's the final thing. Forgive the giant size, but you can't read this if it's smaller!

Tri Foam Love

I'm engaged!!

Maybe some day I'll feel like writing out the long version of this story, but if I have to tell it one more time....

Anyway, I just thought I would share some of the highlights of the artwork that Max won my heart over with. Okay that's a lie. I'm pretty sure I said YES!! before I really knew what was happening and probably before he said anything. This should be confirmed with him because I can't actually remember anything, it was so fast! But I do remember his ridiculous smiling face.

Okay enough of that; much too serious for my blog.

The one thing I'm sure of is that he told me I couldn't laugh at what he was about to give me. This isn't the first time this has happened, and yet he still gets fake upset when I immediately burst out laughing.

The first gem was this picture, illustrating one of the first times we hung out. When I figured out what it was I about died. Anyone? That's right, we are playing Rock Band, the drums to be precise.

Second gem. On our first date we went sledding and if you look closely he has made sure to give himself a red face. Like a gentleman he sat in front every time and got blasted with wet snow.

This was the page that he showed me first-and I proceeded to fill in.

As you can see, I have some artistic competition. Also, please don't mention this to him. He pretends not to read my blog and I don't think he'd be happy about his artwork being displayed!

Also, I received my confirmation letter in the mail from the Mesa Temple. Every time I look at it I'm haunted by the emphasis in this line:

#1a. Have there really been that many people accidentally scheduling a MARRIAGE?
#2b. It makes me nervous every time. DO YOU REALIZE HOW BIG OF A DEAL THIS IS?

Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Look...

I think it's time for me to come back to the blog. Writing on here always lifts my spirits and reminds me of the tender mercies of ridiculousness in my life. I have some back tracking and some redesiging to do so bear with me. Let's just jump right in. 

Max and I went to Scottsdale for Thanksgiving. Have I introduced Max on here yet? I think not. Meet Max:

Flowing locks. Incredibly cool and stylish. What's not to love?

The whole fam was there this year and I spent some time reminiscing about the last time we were all together for Thanksgiving. It was a FIASCO to say the least. Imagine my delight when I found this post from two years ago
(it's worth the re-read I promise):

http://hotlittlefigure.blogspot.com/2009/12/price-family-tree.html

I'm happy to say that I wasn't in a hotel room by myself this year, or sick, but I did sleep in the same corner of the living room as I did two years ago. It is nice, secluded, and free of Dad's snoring.

While children woke me up in the mornings, it's hard to imagine what life would be like without them now. Are we even fun people without them? I'm not sure.

Max and I were confused when we showed up at the Phoenix Children's "Museum" to find what we like to call an "Educational Playground".  Don't Carson and Abby just look stunning in their turkey leg hats? Seriously, who's idea was this?!

I unfortunately didn't get any pictures inside of Organ Stop Pizza. This place is ridiculous. I large organ rises from the ground and a very talented man plays your requests while you eat pizza! He is amazing. I asked for Star Wars and he took us through a wonderful medley of songs from every movie. This is outside of the restaurant. I feel that it really captures these two girls in one shot.

Hazel! I woke up one morning to find everyone gone, except for these two bonding. Too cute.

After a failed attempt the night before to get Ty to fall asleep at my parents house, they just let him run wild while we played games for many, many, hours. They decided it was finally time to take him home when he found his blankie and put himself to bed on this chair.

The "wrapped someone up like a burrito so they have no use of appendages, will likely smash their face, and feel a little claustrophobic, and then bounce them" game. There's nothing that brings more fear when your the victim and more joy when you're watching. Corinne was a good sport.

Max, Milly, Corinne, Mom, and I went to the Orpheum to see the new and improved Nutcracker that I used to be in. Milly wouldn't stop asking questions about while people were dancing and Corinne was in heaven.

And finally, the best moment of the trip. Brandon found this in the fridge. Mom claims that it's tomato juice. 

Let it be noted that I came home and took a 3 hour nap to recover from my "vacation".

Save the Elephants!

I just got this email and I couldn't be happier.

1. I'm in the loop on circus happenings. 

2. I'm pretty sure that my good friend SAC must have proposed this new law. She was horrified when we went to the circus last year.

Each year Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey^® looks forward to bringing The Greatest Show On Earth^® to millions of Americans.  We need your help to make sure this family tradition continues.

A new law is being proposed in Congress that would prevent Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey from sharing the majesty of our beloved Asian elephants.  Ringling Bros.^® is a leader in the care and conservation of the Asian elephant.  With more than 141 years of experience,Ringling Bros. is committed to the well-being and preservation of this endangered species. That is why we need your help!

Please help us stop this proposed new law so that Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey can continue to bring our magnificent Asian elephants to American families for generations to come!

Please help us by clicking here.

If you would like to know more about our Asian Elephant conservation efforts and our Center For Elephant Conservation;www.ElephantCenter.com

This blog is now turning into a blog, ranting about blogs

Dear design blogger,

You  are having/had a baby. Congrats! As someone that thinks you are cool, I'm really excited for you. I'm excited for your child too because he's probably going to end up being cool too. However, I started reading your blog because it was about, not your personal life, but cool stuff. Now that you've sucked me in and I've added you to my reader, 90-100% of your posts revolve around said child. I did not sign up for this. Please, for the love, start a new blog about your child. All I'm asking for is a little separation of "my world revolves around my baby" and design. Thank you.

Emily

Dear Google Reader,

I welcomed you with open arms as you simplified my life.  The hours that I spent, on my butt, reading about other people's design and DIY were suddenly more efficient, but then everything changed. There was that blog that I just didn't care to read anymore. I didn't want to see it's little bold number there telling me that I needed to read 14 posts, because I knew none of them would interest me. So I unsubcribed. Fast forward.

Said blog returns to my subscriptions list. What?

Repeat 7 or 8 times.

I am loosing faith in you. Please. Give me my freedom!!

Emily

8 years in the making

Today we're taking about yogurt over here.

(I've always wanted to say that)

$175 Share women's room in Provo

So I have found myself in a little bit of a predicament. I'm not actually homeless, but I'm basically couch surfing. This is due to my lack of commitment to a city of residence at the current moment. I kept thinking things would just work themselves out before August 20th, but THAT didn't happen. So if I don't get this job in Sandy this week, then I think I might commit to a 4 month contract here in Provo. I know big step. On my lunch break today, I came home (to my old home which I'm still pretending to live in), and looked up housing on Craigslist. I found exactly what I'm looking for:

Singles Women housing.

Shared room near BYU.
Large Kitchen and living room.
No contract or deposit.
please inquire if anymore information is needed.

Okay, maybe not exactly what I'm looking for because it's shared, and oh wait, SUPER SKETCHY. But then I realized, with my commitment issues, sketchy is probably what I'm going to end up with. The last line is the best. You gave me four sentence fragments and have the nerve to finish it with "IF" any more info is needed?!

Start with Chapter 34

Yes. I have fallen off the face of the earth. This is my life:

1. Go to work all day. I'm interning at Nu Skin(yay!) and on campus(yuck!)

2. Eat food. Currently I have very little of this.

3. Go to the gym.

4. See boyfriend.

5. See friends, if they happen to be at my house.

6. Look for jobs.

7a. Give up and realize that I will be an intern forever. OR

7b. Get my hopes up and send out resumes.

8. Sleep.

I'm 3 weeks behind on So You Think You Can Dance. I can't remember the last time I talked to any of my siblings or friends from home. I have 3 days left with Rachel and 6 with Liz. I don't know where I will be in a month. BUT!!!! I finished this: www.emilybrookebaird.com

Done and done.

Um Hi! I graduated. For reals. It's over.

I'm sure one day I'll look back and miss school, actually I already miss parts of it, but it needed to be done.

For about two minutes I dreamed about evenings and weekends free of homework and stress, a clean room, home cooked meals, the gym, the pool, and a savings account.

Then I remember that in 2 months I won't have a job. Such is life. However, if you could hand me a dream job on a silver platter I would really appreciate it. I promise I'll be good at it.

I'm not Stanley

Ok so I admit it. I have a love for Geico commercials. You may not get it, but I love them. There was this one, years ago, where the gecko spun around on the beach with a woman. The song that was playing was absolutely genius!! Do we recall? "Some times when we touch, the honesty is too much..." Perfection. For years after this Liz and I would frequently have this conversation about how we couldn't remember who sings it. Time would pass, one of us would remember and/or look it up, and then we would promptly forget before I could get my hands on it. Well one day I decided to put an end to this madness once and for all. So, when Liz reminded me that Dan Hill sings this wonderful song, I quickly added him as a fake contact in my phone with "1" as his phone number. Success! I later purchased the song with the help of my new "contact" and Liz and I have been enjoying the beauty ever since. Now to the real reason we're here...

Last night was horrible. Couldn't fall asleep, coughing, freaky dreams, you get the idea. AND THEN at 4:55 AM I awoke to my phone ringing. Blasphemy! I know nobody who would be calling me at this time! I thought it must be a mistake. I looked to see who it was. Dan Hill. No area code, no seven digits, just "1". DAN HILL?! I ignored the call. Needless to say the weird dreams continued. So when I awoke this morning and remembered what MUST have been a dream I checked my phone. And there in my call log. Last call RECEIVED, not a call that I made, a call TO ME. Dan Hill. Phone number "1". I have since checked 3 more times for good measure. My phone is scary. STOP THE MADNESS!

You know I don't speak Spanish

For 22 years I've been saying:

Anyways.

Turns out there is no "s" at the end people. It's just "anyway".

Tie you over.

Wrong-o. Turns out this one is in fact "Tide you over". It comes from the Old English tide, meaning time. Like yuletide.

Shouldn't someone have told me these things? Ridiculous. I guess Dad was too busy correcting my usage of number vs. amount.

Salamander Frenzy

I got mail today people. From the University of Alabama. Is it possible that I have never blogged about this subject? I'm too lazy to look back and see if I have, but listen up. It all started in high school. I received my first letter from the University of Alabama. Assuming that they just wanted me to go to school there, I just threw away their letters for several months. I still have yet to find a reason to set foot in Alabama, why bother to open their pleas for my academic genius.
However, a strange thing happened when I started school at BYU. The letters continued. They weren't forwarded from my home, but had my actual dorm address on them. This has continued throughout the years, at every apartment that I have lived in. Lesson #56 about me: When things annoy me, I just let them annoy me until it gets to the point where I freak out. However, when the freak outs become funny to room mates and friends, I let said thing continue to annoy me for comic relief. Lesson #1 about me: My greatest joy is being funny. Therefore, I have done nothing to stop contact with University of Alabama. One time SJ called them to set things straight, but they were closed.
Oh wait, remember how I have left out possibly the best part of this story? All letters are addressed to Mrs. Emily Blackwood Baird. Issues here being that #1a. I am not married and #2b. My maiden name/middle name is in fact not Blackwood. However, we do share initials, so obviously they can't be expected to realize that this is in fact not me. It took a couple of years for me to even realize that these letters were in fact coming from the Alumni Association. You'd think someone would have caught on when they were sending an Alabama Alum mail at a dorm, but alas.
Okay so the point is that it has happened again today, but this is my favorite so far. We are having our 50 year REUNION! Turns out that I graduated in 1961!

So Mrs. Emily Blackwood Baird, wherever you are. I'm really sorry that you will be missing this reunion, but I'm really jealous that you guys had sock hops, the pictures look awesome!

Ed Hardy

A couple of weeks ago, Liz asked me to turn in her request for a transcript. Yay for grad school! In true Emily fashion I forgot to take it on two separate occasions, so she drove me to the ASB to drop it off. I got in line behind an Ed Hardy character. If you don't know what Ed Hardy is then this story won't be nearly as good, feel free to do a quick Google search. So Ed Hardy is power-stancing it in front of the desk and explaining his predicament. Obviously I couldn't help but listen in. The conversation goes a little like this:

Ed Hardy: "So I requested a transcript a while ago and it was never sent."

Desk guy: "I'm sorry, what's your name? I'll look up the status of it."

EH: "Ed Hardy."

DG: "I have see no information about this. When did you request it?"

EH: "About a year ago."

(WHAT!? This is when I started freaking out. Are you kidding me? You asked for a transcript one YEAR ago and now you are just checking up on things? I mean normally ordering a transcript signals some sort of new school or something important. It just didn't show up so you put your life on hold for A YEAR?!)

Desk Guy: "Oh. Well, yeah, we don't keep information for that long. I'll just have to have you fill out a new one."

EH: "Do you have the address for UVU on hand?"

And that's when it all made sense...

Chins

Due to a combination of factors I have lost like 6 pounds in the past week. It made me think of this picture:

Peace Out

So this morning I was sitting at my computer at work and I thought "HEY! Remember how I'm on the computer for 70% of the day?" Every morning I wake up next to my laptop(literally it's usually in my bed), carry it to school in my bag, and then plop down in front of my work computer for several hours. Then I go to class and bust out the laptop. Carry him home in my bag. We are separated while I go to the bathroom. Then he comes back out while I'm eating dinner and we barely leave each other for the rest of the night. And this really isn't because I'm some internet junkie, I do follow some blogs and chat with friends, and rarely write on here, but ALL OF MY HOMEWORK is on this thing. So today I thought, good riddance. Our relationship is suffocating me. I need a break, some independence. When humans ask me to do something I want to be available. I'm not ready for an exclusive relationship. So tonight I am declaring my independence. See you next week!

I hate seagulls

Mom used to get mad at me because I use the word "hate" all the time. After the millionth time of explaining to her that I didn't actually "hate" said thing, she finally gave up on me. It's not my fault that I exaggerate, Brittany has been talking about wanting to "kill" herself my whole life. I digress. The point is that I finally found something I hate. I hate people that make me dislike them. Every time I go into the situation with a fresh outlook they disappoint me and force me to dislike them. I hate people that pretend that they are "teasing" when they are really jerks and I hate that me disliking them bothers me more than it does them. But mostly I hate that this is my problem and that I'm supposed to be charitable.

Help! I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory!

Yesterday we had a work party and we had fortune cookies from Panda Express. I grabbed two. One for me and one for my friend Stacie. Hers read something about the exciting travel in her future. Mine said "A fascinating project is in your future". Seriously fortune cookie!? That is the LAST thing I want.

BODY

This week was rough. Last night I analyzed my dead lifeless body: red, stinging eyes, headache, weak shakiness and general tiredness. Then I realized. This is Project Body. Throughout my life I have encountered several kinds of "body". Each is a result of extreme conditions and causes several physical and mental changes.

1. Office body: discovered during my first summer working at my dad's office. Symptoms: pastey white skin, excessive paper cuts, and a physical tiredness from doing NOTHING all day.

2. Peaks body: discovered that summer that I went to Seven Peaks several times a week. Symptoms: Calloused back, sunburned skin, and a zen-like calm.

3. Project body: discovered my sophomore year of college. Symptoms: all of those previously mentioned as well as an urge to listen to Queen and a difficulty communicating with others (including via blog).

4. Moving body: discovered the day I moved out of my apartment Junior year and had to attend Liz's "after graduation" picture session. Symptoms: Sweaty, dirty, sticky, disgusting.

5. Patch body: discovered the first time I worked a couple of 12 hour days at the Flower Patch for Valentine's Day. Symptoms: tiredness, delirium, and hands that take several weeks to heal from thorns, etc.

6. Warehouse body: discovered my summer in the fabric warehouse. Symptoms: dry pastey skin, extensive paper cuts, fibers of fabric EVERYWHERE, and an extensive knowledge of the top 40 songs of the summer.

In merely 5 days I will be focusing on achieving Vacation body. Symptoms: 3,000 calorie/day diet, excessive card playing, and NO RESPONSIBILITY.

SUCCESS!

I was afraid to say anything, but now it's official.

At the beginning of the semester I was doing everything in my power to avoid buying any books. Well I found my history book at the library and figured I would just check it out until I saved up some money. Usually, someone else will figure out that the library has it so there is no way to keep it all semester. Well, about a million renewals later I have successfully avoided buying this book, and I have it until January fourth. BAM! Saving 50 bucks never felt so good.