Frenchie...For REAL!

After essentially living Friday twice without sleeping(there were just too many movies to watch on the plane), I just crawled out of the depths of a short 45 minute nap. Maybe I will write more specifically about my trip later, but let me just say that it was, in fact, as great as I had thought it would be.
Rarely did I feel like I was in a foreign country, except for the occasional outrageously strong accent that I couldn't understand. Oh, and learning to walk and drive on the left side, Beyonce-style as we called it.
Besides the natural beauty and the architectural "wonderlands", Australia was awesome just because of the people that I met. I expect none of you to ever stay in the kind of sketchy places that I did for $15 a night. Therefore, you will just have to trust me when I tell you that while the smell of these places will stay with you for days and contracting diseases is always an option, it is worth it just to meet CRAZY people. Everyone has some ridiculous story and none of these people have any real responsibilities or direction in life. We were in fact the only people who where in Australia for less than a year and probably the only people going to school. It also helped that everyone we met somehow reminded us of a celebrity: Heath(Heaf), Johnny, Hermione, and others that I forget because I'm only half alive.
I will also always love Australia for the food I was introduced to. Namely the Aussie burger-with egg and beet, and chicken salt-which proved to be very difficult to explain at security in LA.
My brain is no longer working, but I'm back and you should all go to Australia!

"I think that guy just dropped off his girlfriend"

In just over an hour I will be heading off to the airport. Am I excited? Absolutely. But really I'm just sick of talking about it and I'm ready to be there already!!!! If I am asked one more time if I have seen the movie "Taken" I'll flip out...I promise not to be an idiot, thank you. I'm also feeling a little sad about leaving AZ since when I return from Australia I'll only be here for about a day and a half before heading up to Utah.

There is just something about Arizona that I love and I can't explain it...it is just a part of my soul. I was hesitant about four months at home but it has seriously been SUCH A GOOD TIME! Weekend trips, water and bathing suits, redeeming my status as the favorite aunt, playing in the rain, mixed drinks from QT, seeing at least 2 movies every week, dominating in Carumba and getting my butt kicked at Monopoly and Clue, ridiculous old people at church, getting sunburned in the car, and the "summer nights" are just some of the things I will miss. I'll probably even miss those moments on Sunday with the fam that were so chaotic that I had to go sit alone in my room for a few minutes to recover.

Earlier this week Linx shared a philosophy on life with me. As she said: "Isn't the point of life to make as much money, in the least amount of time, in order to have fun with that money the rest of the time?" Really Linx? The point of life?! I nearly died laughing. However, the point of my life is to enjoy it so much that it is bittersweet every time I move on to the next chapter. I have succeeded again. In the meantime I will be having fun with my money in Australia!!!! G'day!

"I blew up in Chad's face again"

Things that make me blow up:
1. Being awoken at any time that is unacceptable, which is almost all the time.
2. Sewing machines.
3. The internet.

This third one was what did it today. The internet at home hates me, so...Here I am at Fry's using the free Wifi, thank you Uncle Steve for finding this gem and saving me. The "crisis" is that I have to mail in 3 projects for my internship class tomorrow and my pictures were locked away in an email. So here I am blogging, instead of doing homework. It is very possible that I will be up until the wee hours of the morning. I have had 3 months to do these projects, but really, everyone knows my projects require all-nighters.

The real reason for this post is that I'm just really excited about some pictures. A couple of weekends ago SAC took a bunch of us to the lake. I thought this may never happen due to her crippled state, but a bunch of friends came down from Provo and we all know a trip to the lake is imperative for giving visitors a good time in AZ in July.

As usual, the skills of the Judge's tube driving were talked up a lot beforehand. I don't think our friends understood just how great he is until Linx and I did a demonstration:

I love the lake, I love the summer, and I love thinking that I might die on a tube, with a best friend.

"I Sleep In a Drawer"

This weekend I spent another fantastic time at Snowflake with the fam. Good food, weather that allowed me to spend tons of time outside without thinking I would die, bike rides, reading, movies, naps, and of course a rodeo. However, events transpired that have left me to ponder my status in the family. After reflecting on years of family vacations, I have come to realize that in the past decade an elitist group of married people has infiltrated my family. Not only is my parents home becoming a shrine to these happy couples and their wedding days, but I fear that I may never have a good nights sleep again when on vacation with them. Every member of this group seems to be allergic to air mattresses, the floor, twin beds, "common areas", and children that aren't theirs. I would also like to have a medical reason to avoid these things.

My first memory of "sleep abuse" is at my grandparents house in Draper when Andrew was wisely joining the married people. Brittany and I had to sleep on the pull out bed in the main room, meaning we were awoken bright and early with the children. After the first night we got smart and resorted to our only other option, sharing a twin bed upstairs. It only took Brittany 5 months to join the married people.

The next summer we all went to Carlsbad. I slept on the floor, under a table. Nobody was comfortable that trip, but really? Under a table!?

Then we have the next summer in Newport. There happened to be just the right amount of bedrooms for the married people. After one night of sleeping on the pull out bed that was previously owned by a chain smoker, Gabe and I opted to share an air mattress in the family room. He hit me countless times in his sleep and woke up horrendously early.

When Brittany, Andrew, and their spouses graduated from college I managed to get my own room at "The Castle Inn". I'm still unsure how this happened and I will forever be grateful. But don't worry, it was the only one on the main floor, so I still got to wake up with the kids!

Park city the summer before my freshman year...pull out bed.

Now we come to Dayne's wedding in Florida. I would like to point out that Dayne had been M.I.A. at family vacations for a few years...I think he caught on to the "group" situation. Again, I will say that not everyone was very comfortable because there seemed to be no blinds or shutters on the windows(sorry Brit), but I had no room. So, this time I got creative and set up camp in my parents walk-in closet. I think everyone thought I was kidding at first. It was actually a pretty good situation because it was so dark, but of course I got an air mattress with a hole in it so it was more like sleeping on a layer of plastic.

In Williamsburg this Christmas I got lucky again. Missy and Will's family couldn't come so my parents decided to cancel our other room, but it was too late or something so I ended up with my own room! Note that this was only by default and a room would never be reserved for me, but still awesome. However, due to the aforementioned allergy of twin beds(push them together people), I had to take the room with twin beds that was directly next to the kitchen/family room. Again, waking up with the kids at seven. Oh, and lets not forget that I had the bathroom that everyone used when they were downstairs, which Brandon was quickly banned from using.

Now we get to this weekend. I took my usual bedroom, the one with the twin bed. The main issue with this room is that in order to get to it I have to walk through my parents room and in order to use their bathroom they have to walk through my room, enough said. The cherry on top this weekend is that I got to share the room with Milly and no matter how cute she is she still wakes up at 6:30 or 7, not counting the dozen other times during the night.

Thank you for listening to my rant. My family is awesome and I love our vacations, but things might be a little more pleasant if everyone else realized that 9 is a normal time to wake up. My parents are amazing for providing places for all of us to stay, but I dream of a day that I can make all of the married people sleep on the floor, under a table, with all ten of my children. Sweet dreams.

Give me the Green Light

This post starts over a month ago when I was innocently driving home from my first ballet class of the summer. There is no easy way to say this, I ran I red light, and of course it was one of the few with a camera. I was emotionally unaffected by this. In fact, I was on the phone with Brittany, and calmly allowed her to finish whatever she was talking about and then added in a "by they way, I got flashed at a red light a little bit ago." However, while I had been listening(very intently) to her, the other part of my brain had been quickly running through what my emotions should be. First, and most importantly, I was robbed! Of course there is no way that this was actually my fault. Something was wrong with the machine, that yellow light was the shortest thing of my life, etc. *Note: I really did think these things which is vital at the end of my story. Secondly, whatever, it will just cost some money, no use in crying over spilt milk. Thirdly, almost everyone in my family, except for my mom, has been flashed while driving the Envoy, and no one has ever paid because it is under my mom's name....there must be a way out of this. Like clockwork, my dad began plotting before I even finished telling him what happened. When this gem showed up in the mail for my mom:
He decided the best route was to ignore it and wait to be served. Of course he also commented on the fact that I was on the phone, classic.
Since my mom is the only one that is ever home, I used knowledge gained during my days as a latch-key-kid to show her how to maneuver carefully through the dining room without being seen, to see who was at the door. The first time she tried to elude the potential process server, the missionaries were waiting at the door.
On my way to work on Monday JohnJay announced on the radio that he had received a letter in the mail that his red light ticket had been waived due to a problem with the machine. He then announced the crossroads, they were exactly my own!!! Could it be!? As soon as I got to my computer I found this article in the newspaper http://www.azcentral.com/php-bin/clicktrack/email.php/8817428. VINDICATED. For a month the yellow light had been set for too short of a time(i KNEW it) and thousands are getting their money back. Meaning for those of us that just ignored it, we can stop living in fear. This kind of thing never happens...but it happened to me. And the clean record lives on!

"Do you want your animals?"

This blog is dedicated to animals, none of them normal. Lately animals have been very prominent, and then Liz, fellow animal non-enthusiast blogged about her beloved bug. Something has also happened to me and animals are slowly breaking through my stone heart.
#1a. Charlie the goldfish. I owe this one to Amber Moyes who asked me to babysit her goldfish, and never took him back. Little did I know that she had been attempting to kill him softly for years by filling his bowl with normal, chlorinated water, with no side affects. I cried all day at school in 3rd grade when I thought he died. Only to return home and be informed that he had been sleeping. Who knew fish slept? But soon enough I hated him because he would NEVER die. I think he was like 8 or so when he finally died. His body was transparent, no longer gold. Not even Cory the fish will break this record.
#2b. Mo. Officially Mo Fro Joe BoBo CoCo NoNo-that is a little look inside my elementary school brain. He lived through countless jail breaks, one of which ended when Brittany found the cat walking around with him in his mouth. But this was not the end for Mo. Nor was it the time I found him stuck in a paper towel roll. He died on Christmas of unknown causes. He was only 3.
#3c. Scamper. His lip would get stuck on his tooth so he looked like Elvis. Unknown liquid would drip from his face, snot? drool?, leaving behind a small puddle whereever he went. He would randomly run through the house at high speeds. He died, also on Christmas, at the age of like 18 or something. He was a rock star and my dad gave an amazing eulogy.
#4d. Binky. Enough said. More to come in his obituary which will hopefully not be for many years to come.

#5e. Who can forget the animal sacrifice of 2008. We found this in our yard one morning: Charred body of some sort of racoon-like animal tied to two rocks with rope. Here is a picture after the body was removed. I would give anything to know the story behind this.#6f. Foxy. Foxy has forever changed my perception of dogs. I'd like to thank Danny for the opportunity to walk dogs at his clinic. The perfect scenario, short 10 minute walks, give them back when you are done, no strings attached. Foxy was everything that I hate. Dog, small, rat-like. But we fell in love in the short 10 minutes we had together. Since I didn't think to check the name on his kennel he was called foxy, because he legit looks like a fox. Sadly I don't have access to pictures of the two of us.

#7g. And most recently. The other night JEB was up late and heard something banging several times on the closed kitty door. He assumed that someone had locked Binky out so he opened it up to let him in. Binky didn't enter and didn't respond when he was called...strange. So he opened the back door and what is standing by the cat door staring at him? A racoon. Ridiculous. Has he been here before? What would have happened if the cat door had been open? I now have images of this racoon lounging around our house while we're on vacation, watching t.v. and snacking on cheetos.

Emphasis on the SICK

I was at SJ's the other night when I was presented with a new tastey treat, the Pickle Sickle. Somehow they knew I would try it. As if this idea isn't disgusting enough, this particular Sickle had a dash of Jalapeno added. In this case, a picture is worth a thousand words. SAC saw how much I loved it and demanded to have some herself.
A quick Google search provides the background of this ridiculousness: Texas. Am I in any way surprised? No. http://www.bobspicklepop.com/