I know, I know, two posts in a matter of hours, but I've been laying down for the better part of the past 3 days. I have the flu or something. I kind of hope its the swine flu because that is the cool thing these days, who really cares about the plain old flu anymore? I just need to describe the scene in our apartment today.
I stumbled home from work to go back to bed and found that Linx was still in bed. She began fake moaning and telling me that I killed her. We both went to sleep. I woke up a couple of hours later to Linx coming home. She informed me that SAC had called her for a ride because at physical therapy something in her back "popped" and she can't walk anymore. Linx crawled back into bed. So, for a couple of hours all three of us layed in bed, dead for all intents and purposes. We are falling apart. Then SAC just came up to the loft and slowly walked laps...she is a grandma.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Living with the "Hard Core Boss"
You know how people think they know people, but they don't? Almost daily I observe how people react to me or my friends and I hear Jacque Redd in my head saying "You don't know me" or Anna saying "I don't know your life girl!". I am probably the worst at this, I am the worst judge of character. If I dislike you the first time we meet then we will probably end up being best friends.
The reason I've been thinking about this lately is because my dearest friend Linx has moved up to Utah and established some sort of new persona. Everyone always talks about how you can "be whoever you want to be" when you go to a new place and she is living it up. Everyone remembers her because she has a faux hawk, wears leather, and her "name" is Linx. They think she is some sort of punk rocker who lives life on the edge and is a partier 24/7. While I know these things to be part of her personality I also grew up in a ballet studio with her and spent the weekends with her shopping at Limited Too and playing "Categories" in the pool(how that is an acceptable name for such a great game is another blog post).
The point is that the best kind of people have so many sides to there personality that you could never really understand them unless you spent every waking moment, or sleeping moment for that matter, with them. I will venture to say that I have spent more time with Linx than any other friend I have and still there are parts of her that I never knew existed. Here is what I have discovered since she moved in.
1. Linx is European; she thinks that nothing needs to be refridgerated. Exhibit A. her juice that was quickly turned into wine. Also on this shelf, but not visible in this picture, was a sliced tomato.
2. She winds up the cord on my blowdryer in the most inefficient way possible even though I yelled at her.
3. Forget cookies in bed, Linx does full-blown meals in bed. This picture however BLEW MY MIND. She had taken the time to make her bed, then took the bag of chips that she had been eating in bed, neatly rolled them up, and then situated them in there as if the bag was a pillow or a teddy bear.
4. For months now Linx has been running around our apartment complex using other people's printers because "something was wrong with hers" and she didn't have a UVU id card to use their printers. Then last night when Rob needs a printer, she tries to fix hers and it took, oh 30 seconds. And no worries, she finally got an id card too.
5. We all know what this is, bowls of food left out. However, with Linx it isn't just a haphazard thing, they are neatly placed against a wall. The walls of our loft will be lined with bowls, or my personal favorite, cups of 2-week-old juice. The best part of this is that when Linx finally notices said juice she starts freaking out at it as if somehow it snuck up there by itself. I'm sitting here staring at the bowls waiting for her to find them.
The reason I've been thinking about this lately is because my dearest friend Linx has moved up to Utah and established some sort of new persona. Everyone always talks about how you can "be whoever you want to be" when you go to a new place and she is living it up. Everyone remembers her because she has a faux hawk, wears leather, and her "name" is Linx. They think she is some sort of punk rocker who lives life on the edge and is a partier 24/7. While I know these things to be part of her personality I also grew up in a ballet studio with her and spent the weekends with her shopping at Limited Too and playing "Categories" in the pool(how that is an acceptable name for such a great game is another blog post).
The point is that the best kind of people have so many sides to there personality that you could never really understand them unless you spent every waking moment, or sleeping moment for that matter, with them. I will venture to say that I have spent more time with Linx than any other friend I have and still there are parts of her that I never knew existed. Here is what I have discovered since she moved in.
1. Linx is European; she thinks that nothing needs to be refridgerated. Exhibit A. her juice that was quickly turned into wine. Also on this shelf, but not visible in this picture, was a sliced tomato.
2. She winds up the cord on my blowdryer in the most inefficient way possible even though I yelled at her.
3. Forget cookies in bed, Linx does full-blown meals in bed. This picture however BLEW MY MIND. She had taken the time to make her bed, then took the bag of chips that she had been eating in bed, neatly rolled them up, and then situated them in there as if the bag was a pillow or a teddy bear. 
4. For months now Linx has been running around our apartment complex using other people's printers because "something was wrong with hers" and she didn't have a UVU id card to use their printers. Then last night when Rob needs a printer, she tries to fix hers and it took, oh 30 seconds. And no worries, she finally got an id card too.
5. We all know what this is, bowls of food left out. However, with Linx it isn't just a haphazard thing, they are neatly placed against a wall. The walls of our loft will be lined with bowls, or my personal favorite, cups of 2-week-old juice. The best part of this is that when Linx finally notices said juice she starts freaking out at it as if somehow it snuck up there by itself. I'm sitting here staring at the bowls waiting for her to find them.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
You know what goes well with a donut?
How do I even explain my Halloween? It was amazing. On Friday evening I went with the girls to watch Anna's brother's concert. They just started a hip hop group, Can't Stop Won't Stop, and I can't help myself but to love them. The dancer inside of me just loves the beat of some good hip hop. Because we were going to Anna's friend, Amber's, party after the concert we were already dressed up. Anna reminded us all of her incredible knowledge of the 70's and 80's with her hilarious rendition of Ziggy Stardust. I just wanted to keep yelling out "It's David!" like when David Bowie shows up to judge the walk-off in Zoolander.
After a great dance party at Amber's that night I was excited with the prospect of a couple of dance parties on Halloween night. The parties themselves were nothing too amazing so I won't get into details, but my company could not have been better. The night started when the boys hopped in the car and Cody asked me when I had woken up that morning. I shamefully answered noon, thinking that since we had been up late the night before he knew I had slept in and wanted to make me look lazy. I was mistaken. Instead his response was..."Did you have BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!?????"
Dave as Lucky Charms. Cody as 2% Milk. Cory as the Banana.
The night continued with as many breakfast jokes as possible, as well as numerous pick up lines involving what goes well with milk. Sadly Cody never found a girl dressed as a cookie or his real dream, a t-bone steak.
Cory also provided endless entertainment by dancing on cars and running through the street. Apparently he didn't realize just how high cut the back of his costume was, but it was very entertaining for the rest of us.
Liz and I were birds. An owl and a peakcock. 
Somehow I don't have a picture of Rachel but she was there!
After a great dance party at Amber's that night I was excited with the prospect of a couple of dance parties on Halloween night. The parties themselves were nothing too amazing so I won't get into details, but my company could not have been better. The night started when the boys hopped in the car and Cody asked me when I had woken up that morning. I shamefully answered noon, thinking that since we had been up late the night before he knew I had slept in and wanted to make me look lazy. I was mistaken. Instead his response was..."Did you have BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!?????"
Dave as Lucky Charms. Cody as 2% Milk. Cory as the Banana.The night continued with as many breakfast jokes as possible, as well as numerous pick up lines involving what goes well with milk. Sadly Cody never found a girl dressed as a cookie or his real dream, a t-bone steak.
Cory also provided endless entertainment by dancing on cars and running through the street. Apparently he didn't realize just how high cut the back of his costume was, but it was very entertaining for the rest of us.
Liz and I were birds. An owl and a peakcock. 
Somehow I don't have a picture of Rachel but she was there!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
My Parents, the English Majors
So the other night my Dad texted me. Two things to know before you read the text:
1. Despite many attempts to text my father, he has NEVER texted me in my life.
2. I hadn't spoken to him in about 5 days when I got this.
Expecting a response from my roommates whom I had just texted I open my phone to see a text message from Dad. It reads:
"Hi im suns game gin w ty B and b at U TWO"
Now this may take a while for most of you to decipher, but not me. It appears that my parents are more alike than I ever knew. This kind of cryptic writing using letters for names and few transition words is how my mom writes letters. Any Baird who is trained in reading my mom's weekly emails understands this sentence perfectly. The ridiculous part is that WHAT THE HECK, WHY DID HE TEXT ME THAT? It's not like I had tried to reach him and he was letting me know where everyone was. It's as if he is texting me his facebook or twitter status completely out of the blue! Now, if the point was to make me jealous of what everyone was doing, then mission accomplished Dad.
Linx and I were in tears from laughter, but after regaining composure I decided to text him back. No response.
Dad, if you are reading this, thanks for the text. I'm very excited that you have developed these skills. Now let's work on opening and responding to messages that I send you! Same to you Mom. Side note: Mom used to send me texts that were all one word, but she has learned how to space!!!
1. Despite many attempts to text my father, he has NEVER texted me in my life.
2. I hadn't spoken to him in about 5 days when I got this.
Expecting a response from my roommates whom I had just texted I open my phone to see a text message from Dad. It reads:
"Hi im suns game gin w ty B and b at U TWO"
Now this may take a while for most of you to decipher, but not me. It appears that my parents are more alike than I ever knew. This kind of cryptic writing using letters for names and few transition words is how my mom writes letters. Any Baird who is trained in reading my mom's weekly emails understands this sentence perfectly. The ridiculous part is that WHAT THE HECK, WHY DID HE TEXT ME THAT? It's not like I had tried to reach him and he was letting me know where everyone was. It's as if he is texting me his facebook or twitter status completely out of the blue! Now, if the point was to make me jealous of what everyone was doing, then mission accomplished Dad.
Linx and I were in tears from laughter, but after regaining composure I decided to text him back. No response.
Dad, if you are reading this, thanks for the text. I'm very excited that you have developed these skills. Now let's work on opening and responding to messages that I send you! Same to you Mom. Side note: Mom used to send me texts that were all one word, but she has learned how to space!!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I'm DYING
So in the past two weeks I have acquired a lovely set of bruises on my right leg. Big deal right? Well I have been FREAKING out because I never bruise. All of my life I have been upset that my body wouldn't produce "battle wounds". At dance everyone's knees would be covered with bruises, except for me, making it appear that I wasn't working as hard. The weirdest part about these bruises is that I don't remember hurting myself in any way.
After realizing that the bruises seemed to appear in the mornings I confronted Linx about the possibility of her beating me in my sleep. I never received a straight up denial, but she quickly went to the internet to find out what was wrong with me. Cover up? I think yes. I was quickly diagnosed with anemia and some other disease that I can't remember. However, I still had my suspicions about my new sketchy room mate.
The next night I had a nightmare: I had just returned to my house in AZ, it was empty, but a crazy killer was trying to get in and kill me. Before I could lock all the doors and set the alarm the killer finds a door that I missed and gets in the house. This is a recurring dream, but never before has the killer been the one and only LINX! I ran to my neighbor's house and hid in their garage. My neighbor, trying to protect me, ran out to the driveway and started yelling at Linx: "What do you want from her!?" Linx's response: "Well I guess I'll just take twenty bucks."
SERIOUSLY?!
My doctor, Brittany, has confirmed that either I have leukemia or that Linx is beating me in my sleep. Upon confronting her on the subject again she said she would take $20 for each bruise-free night.
After realizing that the bruises seemed to appear in the mornings I confronted Linx about the possibility of her beating me in my sleep. I never received a straight up denial, but she quickly went to the internet to find out what was wrong with me. Cover up? I think yes. I was quickly diagnosed with anemia and some other disease that I can't remember. However, I still had my suspicions about my new sketchy room mate.
The next night I had a nightmare: I had just returned to my house in AZ, it was empty, but a crazy killer was trying to get in and kill me. Before I could lock all the doors and set the alarm the killer finds a door that I missed and gets in the house. This is a recurring dream, but never before has the killer been the one and only LINX! I ran to my neighbor's house and hid in their garage. My neighbor, trying to protect me, ran out to the driveway and started yelling at Linx: "What do you want from her!?" Linx's response: "Well I guess I'll just take twenty bucks."
SERIOUSLY?!
My doctor, Brittany, has confirmed that either I have leukemia or that Linx is beating me in my sleep. Upon confronting her on the subject again she said she would take $20 for each bruise-free night.
Where do all the pregnant women hang out?
So even though at the moment BYU is being dumb and not letting me double major-I will fight them-I am still on the email list for the School of Family Life. Yesterday I received this email regarding a thesis project:
"Good morning SFL Students! My name is Tianna Watson and I'm a grad student in the Nutritional Sciences program."
My first thought was, "well, hello Tianna, why are you emailing the SFL people if you are in Nutritional Sciences?" My question was immediately answered with the next line:
"I am currently trying to recruit pregnant women for my thesis project."
I just about died laughing...I love Home and Family Living.
"Good morning SFL Students! My name is Tianna Watson and I'm a grad student in the Nutritional Sciences program."
My first thought was, "well, hello Tianna, why are you emailing the SFL people if you are in Nutritional Sciences?" My question was immediately answered with the next line:
"I am currently trying to recruit pregnant women for my thesis project."
I just about died laughing...I love Home and Family Living.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Ostracized in Style
For those of you who are dedicated blog readers you will remember by post "I Sleep in a Drawer" over the summer. After I posted that I realized that many of my family members read my blog...it caused quite an uproar. Did my powerful rhetoric do its job?
Last Sunday I got a message from my mother offering me a hotel room for Thanksgiving.
Each time I tell someone about this they think my family is crazy. Let me explain. My parents often get a room at Orange Tree which is literally a block away. Andrew and Courtney want to stay at our house so they can put their kids to bed and still hang out with everyone. Therefore, Dayne and Myhoa "get" the hotel room, which everyone thought they liked. FALSE. They want to be at the house with everyone. Our family just loves each other so much. Therefore, I will not get a bed since there are only two at home. Since we already had a hotel room reserved, it was offered to me. I actually feel fine about this, let's be honest I will probably like everyone a lot more that whole week if I get to sleep in everyday. The only thing holding me back is that I just feel like it is weird! I left the decision in my parents hands.
As I was explaining this dilemma to SAC all she could say to me was "you are still being ostracized". I'm going to choose to ignore this half glass empty outlook on life.
Last Sunday I got a message from my mother offering me a hotel room for Thanksgiving.
Each time I tell someone about this they think my family is crazy. Let me explain. My parents often get a room at Orange Tree which is literally a block away. Andrew and Courtney want to stay at our house so they can put their kids to bed and still hang out with everyone. Therefore, Dayne and Myhoa "get" the hotel room, which everyone thought they liked. FALSE. They want to be at the house with everyone. Our family just loves each other so much. Therefore, I will not get a bed since there are only two at home. Since we already had a hotel room reserved, it was offered to me. I actually feel fine about this, let's be honest I will probably like everyone a lot more that whole week if I get to sleep in everyday. The only thing holding me back is that I just feel like it is weird! I left the decision in my parents hands.
As I was explaining this dilemma to SAC all she could say to me was "you are still being ostracized". I'm going to choose to ignore this half glass empty outlook on life.
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